Category Archives: Life Lessons

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Daisy Daisy

In the Summer of 1999 Daisy joined the class for one term. I know it was 1999 because we were learning about farming, and I know it was the Summer term because no teacher in his right mind would arrange a camping trip in England

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Facebook: Don’t Look Now

Upon discovering that I have a double-barrel surname – Harper Eliot being a pseudonym – a friend of mine immediately proclaimed that I am “posh totty,” which I found highly amusing, largely because in many ways it is true. For example, from the age of

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The Body Grotesque

FYI, ‘body grotesque’ is actually a literary term for literature which describes bodily functions in realistic detail. (For example, see Angela Carter’s Wise Children, the studying of which is where I learned the term.) I’m not using it in its true form, but I think


The User Manual

The personal user manual is an idea I got from Cunning Minx on her podcast, Polyamory Weekly. It’s a great podcast, and I love Minx’s no-bullshit, straightforward approach to non-monogamy. Her own user manual is a great read, and acted as a good model when


The Marriage Service [Edited]

Last weekend I posted a very drunken Audioboo as I stood outside a beautiful estate house in the country, inside which one of my closest (and youngest) friends was dancing with his new bride. In this Audioboo I claimed that I would edit the Church


Happiness in Certainty

It is extraordinarily unfair that when I am happy I find I have nothing to write about, and when I am unhappy I lack the wherewithal to bring my numerous thoughts together on the page. How I have ever written anything at all seems a


An Open Letter to Modern Female Feminists

Dear feminists, I am a twenty-three year old, white, middle class, cis-gendered female, living in London. And I cannot, in all good conscience, call myself a feminist. Yes, I do believe that I should have the same rights and the same freedoms as men; yes,


Being in the Closet(s)

Yesterday I read this excellent article by Aggie at Solopoly, about being in or coming out of the poly closet. You can read the article for yourself, but – in a nutshell – it discusses the pros and cons of being in the closet, and


The Perfect Ecosystem: a Pussy Pride Piece

Over the course of my twenty-three years I have received a very slow trickle of information about keeping my vagina healthy; but I’ve never really been informed, point blank, of how best to maintain a clean cunt. I remember being very small when my Mother