Personal Experiences

Reflections on Displays of Ownership

I have of late been thinking about ownership, and the ways in which kinky people signify ownership – such as collaring, branding, etc. For me, collaring in particular is highly nuanced. As someone who enjoys puppy play and definitely feels herself to have an inner pup, collaring can, at times, simply be a necessary part of the play. Puppies, regardless… Read more →

The Body Grotesque

FYI, ‘body grotesque’ is actually a literary term for literature which describes bodily functions in realistic detail. (For example, see Angela Carter’s Wise Children, the studying of which is where I learned the term.) I’m not using it in its true form, but I think as you read on it will become fairly clear how it might apply here. Last… Read more →

Inverted Aftercare

I have found, as my kinks develop, and I grow up into a (hopefully) more sorted person, that I experience sub-drop less often, and less severely. I still have tearful days every now and then after playing, but they’re pretty rare, and even as I play with my darker kinks, I feel much more able to handle any fall-out. But… Read more →

Thank Yous from Eroticon USA

Two weeks ago I was in Atlanta. It seems both ridiculously recent and such a very long time ago. In all honesty, the weekend – nay, the whole week! – was something of a blur; between exhaustion and excitement and inspiration and (yes) arousal, the week passed with incredible speed and produced some wonderful things. For example: if you haven’t… Read more →

The User Manual

The personal user manual is an idea I got from Cunning Minx on her podcast, Polyamory Weekly. It’s a great podcast, and I love Minx’s no-bullshit, straightforward approach to non-monogamy. Her own user manual is a great read, and acted as a good model when it came to writing my own. I have actually been meaning to write it for… Read more →

The Marriage Service [Edited]

Last weekend I posted a very drunken Audioboo as I stood outside a beautiful estate house in the country, inside which one of my closest (and youngest) friends was dancing with his new bride. In this Audioboo I claimed that I would edit the Church of England Marriage Service to demonstrate how little of it I’d include in my own… Read more →

Hysteria: trigger words and social response

This morning I was linked to a BBC news article from 24th April 2013 titled Sex consent could still lead to rape charge, judges say. The piece discusses a case in which a man and a woman engaged in consensual vaginal intercourse without protection, agreed to on the basis that the man would withdraw before he ejaculated. He did not,… Read more →


Last week on Bad Porn Club, I mentioned that I have a fetish for brutalist architecture. I’m not sure exactly how we’re defining ‘fetish’ at the moment; some say it’s simply being turned on by something inanimate; for others a fetish is something a person needs (to at least think about) in order to get off. Well, my ‘fetish’ for… Read more →